It's a New Day

Bit abashed about my pity party behavior. How selfish of me to wallow, really. I mean, I have so much to be grateful for and thankful for, why wallow? Okay, a little "poor me" goes a long way, I'll admit, but then you have to dust off your butt and get up out of the dirt. Today, I cleaned out the pantry, so now we have no food. My kids are already in withdrawal.

Carl went on his guys' weekend today. Gone fishin' and doing "guy" things. I am really looking forward to having sole control of the TV and my bathroom. It's nice sometimes to have solitude (if you can call it that with four kids hanging around). I just know it's nice to have the quiet after everyone is in bed to just do what I want. Should be a nice weekend and I'll miss him, but as someone wise said a long time ago - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ha ha ! And if it doesn't, should I worry? (Just kidding!). Have a great Friday!

Having a Pity Party - Want an invite?

I'm not very good at self help. I mean, I can give out advice with the best of them, but taking it myself is not one of my strong suits especially when it comes to weight issues. So, I'm sitting here having a little pity party of my own and I know how this works. I'll get it out of my system and feel like crap, then I'll do something about it. But the fact that I HAVE to do something about it makes finding the actual will to do it, much harder to come by for some reason. I guess it's because I hate being told what to do. I like living by my own rules and I like to eat, frankly.

Newsflash - I hate fruits and veggies. Haven't found a fruit that I like in 36 years, don't think I'm going to find one now. The fact that I don't like fruit is a huge embarrassment to me when I eat at friends' homes. Everyone makes the most beautiful fruit pies and desserts and I have to say, "No thanks! I'm good." People look at you like you're nuts when you tell them you don't like fruit. They always say, "really?" "wow!". Veggies are more my friends than fruit, but only a limited selection.

Believe me you, I WISH I loved all of these things, I wouldn't be in the predicament that I am if I did. Blood tests don't lie to you, unfortunately. Triglycerides are high. Doctors don't sugar coat bad news like "lose weight", "risk of coronary artery disease", "risk of diabetes". They just expect you to fix it, with the help of a dietician, of course. I am really hoping I just don't start bawling while talking to that particular person.

It's not like I don't want to be better for myself and my family. It's just that right now, the mountain seems so high and my ability to climb it seems impaired. Yes, I'll throw out my crutch - I have two herniated discs in my back - what does that mean!? It means, I live with my left foot numb and tingly. It means, I wake up every day in pain and can't walk . It means I live on Aleve and Motrin. It means, walking any distance about kills me and it means, that right now, I can function with all of that. I am terrified of aggravating my back by working out or forcing anything on it when I am finally starting to feel a little better.

So, I'm whining like my 7 year old when she doesn't get what she wants. It's okay, it's part of my pity party and this whole blog thing is therapeutic. I vent, I scream, I heal, I move on. I have a plan.

I hate weight watchers - but I'm going back to it after school starts, August 19th.

I hate diets, but I'm seeing a dietician August 17th.

I hate working out, but I'm going back to it (any day now). Okay, that one's less definite, but a necessity.

In the meantime, I'm going to be cleaning out my pantry, freezers, and fridge.

My kids will hate the new menu, but if I have to be good, everyone has to be good.

My goal is no medication, no weight loss supplements, no drugs.

SO, that's it - pity party over. Thanks for coming. Thanks for listening.

Happy Birthday Daddy, meet me at the ER.

So, yesterday was Carl's 39th birthday and it was seeming to be a rather uneventful day. We had plans to go out to dinner and then to the Muny and Carl's folks were going to watch the kids for us. 4:45pm comes and William takes a nose dive off of a kitchen chair and busts open his bottom lip inside and out. Where was I? 20 feet away. I didn't see it, but he had been sitting with his sisters at the table playing Polly Pockets when the next thing, he was under the table and crawling out like a mad man to me because he was hurt.

I summoned my neighbor, or "second opinion" after I had the blood flow staunched a little and ice in place and Will was settling down a little. She said, "oh, you know mouths bleed so bad." I said, "yes, but come look at this". One glance and her face told me, it needed to be seen by a doctor. Off we went to St. Clare's. The three girls went with my neighbor until my inlaws arrived (as planned originally). I called Carl and he was meeting me at the ER.

Once we were in the ER, they glued the split in his upper chin shut and we were home by 6:30 pm. The race was on to still get dinner and then make it to the Muny - we did it, with indigestion and belly aches - we were there for the opening song. So, an uneventful birthday turned into a milestone (sort of). Our first visit to the ER for our Buddy.

Praise the Lord!

So, we're sitting at dinner and I'm dishing out omlettes to the kids. The younger two start fighting over sippee cups and crying really loud. My four year old says in an exasperated way, "Praise Jesus!" and goes on about her meal. It was so funny! I figure her week at VBS paid off right there!

It has been a busy, busy week and a hard day. I don't know why, but it has and my one glass of white wine at dinner to take the edge off my mood turned into three, so now I'm feeling it and will probably be asleep in an hour.

We had Vacation Bible School this week and the older girls loved it. I love watching them enjoy it and singing all the songs they learn. It's really neat.

My main beef with my day, though, was the crying, the screaming, the tattle taling, the complaining, the drone of it all. It drives me up a wall and there are 38 days left of summer vacation. I may not make it.

24 months

William and Hayden turn two today! Yeah! I can't believe it. It seems like the first year goes by so quickly and they turn one, but they're still babies. Then the second year has gone at light speed and now I look at them, two years old, and they seem so big. I mean, I know they aren't big, but compared to what they were, they're enormous. They are really trying to talk, get into everything, and are two little live wires on the go all the time. I love it.

On the flip side, it's Fourth of July weekend everybody! Enjoy! It's the weekend that means summer is half over, so let's celebrate! We're going to enjoy some fireworks this evening with the babies and some neighbors, then tomorrow, probably more fireworks.

Side note on my state of being - had an x-ray this week and an MRI - determined I have degenerative disc disease and two herniated discs in my lower lumbar region which is putting pressure on my sciatic nerve and causing me so much grief. Doctor said I could try cortisone shots or surgery. I said, I'll get another opinion, if you don't mind. So, I'm going to look into that next week. Sucks to get old.

More later people!