I am kind of obsessed with something and it all started about 7 years and 7 days ago (when Quinn was born). I don't have a "job". I am a stay at home Mom. It took me a really long time to get over the fact that I don't work outside the home and to realize that what I do is valuable even without a paycheck. I would introduce myself to people and say, "I stay at home, now, but I used to be a Federal Officer." I pretty much belittled what I do now because I thought what I used to do was more impressive.
Why am I obsessed? I am constantly thinking of what I can do to make going back to work in a few years easier, better, and more lucrative. I am forever coming up with plans to start a business of my own, work for myself, and of course - make a fortune! I have a gazillion plans to learn a new trade, take classes in all kinds of subjects and earn this, or that degree. I have a tangible fear of the hole in my resume that spans, well, 7 years and 7 days to count. I have nightmares about the interview gone bad for a job I really want. The interviewer looks at me up and down, probably in my Wal-mart business suit, and says...
Him/Her - "What did you do between 2002 and now?"
Me - "I raised my family"
Him/Her - "That's all?"
Me - "Yes, isn't that enough?"
Him/Her- "Hurumph.." (they think to themselves - round file this one)
The problem with being a Mom, whether you work, or stay at home, or both - is that we beat ourselves up every chance we get. If we work, we feel guilty we're not at home and are envious of our friends who are. If we stay at home, we feel guilty because we aren't using our hard earned education and are envious of our friends who are. If we work from home and seem to have the best of both worlds - we'll maybe those people do. I don't know. We just can't win, can we?
We all make sacrifices. I can tell you that. To the working mom, it may seem like I am at home eating bon bons all day. On occassion, I wear my PJs till noon, (I'm sure that would appeal to...okay...everyone). Truthfully, it hardly happens and I don't get any sick days or personal days - PJs till noon? That's my perk!. To me, watching a working mom cart her kids off to daycare and head into a civilized, humane, adult environment for eight hours of productive mental activity leaves me drooling on the window pane. Why? Because they get to have phone conversations that don't involve "hold on...Lydia quit that...sorry, you were saying? Hold on....Will, get off of there....sorry, what did you say? Hayden, oh, darn, she's playing in the toilet - let me call you back.."
They also get a lunch hour. I get a lunch shift.
They wear cute shoes. I wear crusty Reeboks.
They get raises. I get raisins.
Working Moms seem to have it all together. Me, I function by the seat of my pants.
Working Moms have super powers. My superpower is bathing all four kids at once in the same tub - saves water and soap! (Just kidding....but it does save water!)
They have benefits. I have benefiber for my kids.
They get to go to the bathroom - privately. I get an audience.
No matter what side of the fence we sit on - the other side is always greener. My final thought is that I still need to build my resume, fill in the blanks for 7 years. Here's what I have.
Feb 2002 - Present
Stay at Home Mom - doesn't that say it all?
3 comments:
Believe me, the grass is always greener on the other side!!!
Adrienne, you do a great job, and being a stay-at-home mom is 10x more difficult than any other job in the work force. I really hope I could stay home with our children when that time comes.
I did a google search for "stay-at-home mom resumes" and there is a lot of info out there with tips and advice on how to fill in the gap in your resume. So just remember that when the time comes. :)
I am totally with you on that. I have been a SAHM for 7 years and 1 month and I am applying as a sub at the kids school for next year. I need 3 professional references- my current boss(es) don't count.
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