It's almost here!

I am so excited about my girls' weekend coming up later this week. I am going to be hanging out with some very good friends, imbibing a little, talking a lot, and eating like crazy. I deserve it!

So, with a girls' weekend comes many other things first. I have to get the house ready for my departure, make sure everyone has clothes, clean towels, food, and plenty of medication (tylenol for the kids, Bud Select for Carl - just kidding!). Then I have to pack my stuff - pair of jeans, couple shirts, jammies, pillow - done (oh yeah! Toothbrush).

I am a little worried about the kids, but know that they'll survive and there are four grandparents a phone call away if anything happens that Carl needs help. I know he'll be fine, though because NCAA basketball is on, which probably means I should worry more about the kids, actually.

I am sooooo thankful that Carl is supportive of my trip because if he wasn't, it would be hard to leave. I think he understands that I need a bit of a breather and it also means that I can't complain about his guys' weekend in the summer (he he he). He is also going out of town for work in a few weeks which is pretty much a guys' weekend, but during the week. Private hotel room, food paid for, private bathroom without little people banging on the door and yelling at you - sounds like heaven to me.

Three days and counting......

It All Goes By So Fast

The other night I was doing dishes and the following songs came on. I started bawling like a baby over my soapy suds water and thought, WHY? Why do they put this stuff on late at night when you just wanna cry? It's all so true. I have been blessed in so many ways and I think I don't really want any of those wonderful moments back to do over, but man - they went by so fast! You think you'll have all the time in the world to remember your babies as babies, but you don't. You think when you're a newly wed that the world is your oyster and why not jump right in - but you only get so many moments as a couple before you're a family or other things take over - why rush them? Why are we always in a hurry to get somewhere, rush things along, grow our kids, and move past where we're at? I want to be aware in my "present" and when you think about that, it's not easy. We are aware of our deadlines, our future and our past, but do we ever dwell in the "present"? No much, I'd say. Maybe we should, 'cause I sure don't want to miss this!

Darius Rucker - It Won't Be Like This For Long

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all nite
Lay'n there in bed listen'n
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It wont be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laugh'n
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won't be like this for long

Four years later bout four thirty
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This will only last a week or two
It wont be like this for long
One day soon we'll drop her off
And she wont even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It wont be like this for long

One day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times you'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she up and cry'n
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her
Till her eyes are finally closed
And just watch'n her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows
It wont be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah this phase is gonna fly by
He's try'n to hold on
It wont be like this for long
It wont be like this for long

Trace Adkins - You're Gonna Miss This

She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down-

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says They don't bother me. I've got 2 babies of my own. One's 36, one's 23.Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

New Pics!

Enjoy the new side bar pics. They came out kind of dark when I was copying them, sorry. You get the idea. The kids are in their Easter wear. Happy Easter!

It's a Phase

It's here. The next six months have arrived. I have a theory. It goes like this. Every six months (give or take) the kids go through a phase. Maybe all at the same time, maybe individually. Phases can overlap and often run together. Right now, we're entering the "I'm nearly two and can dump everything out" phase of the twins. It used to be that they would just play independently and roam around the house after me. This was great because they didn't leave a huge mess in their wake and I knew where they were. I was still productive and could get things done.

NOW....well, we're in the "I know Mom is in the house and we're going to go in the other direction so she doesn't find us" phase while we simultaneously empty any bin and upturn every toy in our way leaving a path of destruction behind us. This phase stinks. The paths of destruction often take off in different directions which doubles the damage. Every nook and cranny has a toy, a piece to a puzzle, a tiny car, a pretend tea cup and several sippy cups strewn about. I could literally spend all day retrieving and cleaning up their mess. Damage control is impossible.

I find I'm less productive because it's kind of depressing to clean and have it all destroyed in less time than it takes to snap your fingers. I feel like the house is cluttered, dirty, dingy, and out of order completely. This is messing with my Type A personality big time and I don't care for it one bit.

I usually tell myself when we hit a phase like this that it will be this way for 6 months and they'll grow out of it and into another crazy phase - probably drawing on walls!

Constantly Amazed

I am constantly blown away by how many of my friends are doing so many amazing and awesome things. They really are incredible people. I pale in comparison. They go out of the box. They fight for causes that are close to their heart. They teach, they nurse, they serve. They lead. They are preachers, architects, engineers, therapists, managers, moms. It's flippin' intimidating people! : )

Some hold multiple jobs and keep a family together. Some build businesses out of their homes and manage to keep their minds intact with kids underfoot. My friends are tremendous. I am so lucky to have them and I just wanted you to know that - friend.

Hope you have a great day!

Pasta & Vasectomies

I have been reading the headlines.....pasta consumption is up! Vasectomies are up! all due the recession. We've been trying to be more conscious of where our money goes too because of the recession. Some months are better than others. I bought Quinn's summer shorts at the second hand store. I try to shop at Save a Lot for stuff like produce, canned items and dairy (it is a lot cheaper). We also try to eat through our pantry before I go to the store which averages every 2 weeks for a major shopping trip. We do have to buy milk and bread throughout those weeks, but I try to wait on the rest. I try to stay home during the week as much as possible to avoid being tempted in a store to buy stuff on impulse and to save on gas. We reduced our cable/internet bill and phone bills. We cut our membership to the gym (although I'm thinking of re-joining later this spring on an individual membership vs. family). We hardly eat out as a family. If we eat anywhere, it's fast food and we bring it home maybe once a week. Even doing that, I plan for drinks at home, we buy sandwiches and minimal fries then add a fruit and maybe some chips from the pantry. I even began to use cloth diapers about 6 months ago to fore go having to fork out close to $160 a month in Huggies. (We still use some Huggies at night and when we're away from home for a long period of time).

I'm not complaining, just commiserating. It makes me think about my grandparents in the Great Depression (which also leads me to wonder, what they will call our current Depression down the road, the Not so Great Recession?). I digress. My Grandma was a frugal, penny pinching person till the end. She had plastic on her couches so they wouldn't get dirty and those great vibrant colored metal cups in her cabinets. She got rid of nothing. Everything was hoarded and treasured. Our society is so "disposable". If something breaks, we throw it away. If something is old, we get a new one. My kids even noted as we waited at a stop light off the highway how dirty and littered the area was from people driving by and dumping cups, trash, papers. They said, "people just don't care if they're litterbugs!".

Maybe if people had cared more about someone other than themselves, we wouldn't be where we are now. Maybe we'd have something still. These times make you realize what is valuable, what is important and it's unfortunate that it takes times like these to bring it to your attention.

Struggling

I was rocking this Weight Watcher thing on my own until I went out last night....I was so happy, I'd busted my weight from last week and then I had a margarita and the bottomless chips/salsa and a lot of good conversation (which meant the bottomless chips never stopped coming and I kept dunking!). On top of that, we went out of town today on a family road trip to see Carl's Great Grandma and we ate at Pizza Inn. I love Pizza. It is my weakness. It was also buffet, nonetheless. SO, I tried to behave. I started with a salad and non fat ranch dressing, a little cheese, some sunflower seeds (love them). Then I only had two pieces of pizza and a dessert slice. But I munched off the kids' plates (which is a no - no!). Then when we got home, I had no idea where I stood on my points and no idea how to recover. I also wanted to eat and keep eating all day.

We'll see what damage has been done tomorrow. It would be so easy to just chuck the whole thing. For me, getting to a point where I'm fully committed takes me about 15 pounds. Losing 3, 5, or 7 pounds (and I'm not belitting that), for me is inconsequential to what I need to lose. The first 10 pounds on a tall person, like me, are gravy and nobody really notices when you're where I am. It takes a while more for people to really see a difference and that motivates me, at least, to keep going. I don't want to sound like I'm doing this for someone else's approval, but it's always nice to hear that someone can tell things are changing.

Like I said, I'll calculate the damage tomorrow, pull up my boot straps and dive right back in. The thing that is so hard, though, is the little devil on my shoulder just prodding me to get into the freezer and have some ice cream, or Girl Scout cookies. The little angel on the other side, just sits there, waiting for me to cave in. When I do, it "tsk, tsks" at me. I just want to tell that darn goody two shoes angel that he ain't so skinny himself. Maybe he should look in the mirror and get off my case!

I am really not delusional - just sugar deprived and a little cranky from lack of food!

Procrastinating

Why is it that we just had a gigantic garage sale last September and purged half the house (at least it felt like that) and I could do it all over again? Does "stuff" reproduce itself and take up all my shelves, corners, drawers, and cabinets that fast? YEP!

I am procrastinating on switching out some spring clothes for winter in the kids' closets. I think I'd rather pull my toe nails out every season than switch clothes. Why? Well, it's a lot of "stuff" and it's just a pain in the booty. Then, I think, even though I start doing it, it doesn't really end until summer is fully here. You still have to keep some pants, long shirts, sweats etc. in the drawers because even though it's 70 today, it's going to be 40 tomorrow! I sometimes see the benefit of living in a place without seasonal changes. This being one of them.

I am so ready to get rid of stuff and I know boxing it up and putting it downstairs just means I have to move it around for three months until the garage sale comes. I don't want to do that, so I'll just have to look at it until then and wait for another weekend that I can go crazy emptying shelves. Baby toys, old movies, baby books that never get read. All of it has to go. It feels like a weight around my neck sometimes and I hate that feeling.

Simplify, Reduce....my motto.

Promises Promises

I've made several Lenten promises to myself this year. I've completed a few already. I went to the Stations of the Cross with Quinn which was awesome. She actually started to tear up and that touched me because you wonder if your kid really gets it. If they really understand the sacrifice Jesus made for us. In all honesty, it's only been since I became a Mother myself that I could even begin to fathom and understand the life Mary, His mother, must have lead. How completely agonizing it must have been to watch your Son scorned, tossed out, abused, refused, and ultimately executed. I couldn't have born it and I don't know how she did.

Another promise, I made, was to go to Penance. I can't remember the last time I did that. I actually think it was before I got Married in 2000. I have never been very comfortable with this sacrament. I think I've said the same sins for the past 25 years. I have my standard faves that get me through and I get a couple Hail Marys, maybe a Glory Be and an Our Father or two and I'm good. Well, I'm gonna give it a go and try to really get more out of it than I did when I was younger.

Just as a quick finish - The priest who said Mass on Sunday said some very interesting things during his homily and I think what made the most impact on me was when he was talking about Moses on the Mount and the fact that all the while Moses is receiving the tablets, his brother, a master craftsman, is concocting a golden calf - a false idol, down below. He said, these people were putting road blocks, distractions, between themselves and God. He said our God has many human characteristics, such as jealousy. He said, God doesn't want us to be consumed by other false idols, or occupations- which take our attention away from Him. He said we may think we're civilized Christians in this day and age and know the difference between False Idolitry and what is real, but in reality, we all put false idols between us and the Lord. We all find distractions that come between us and God. He's right. I am guilty and I think I'll add that to my list of sins for Penance!

Trying to Trap a Leprechaun

Today the kids and I spent some time creating a Leprechaun trap to catch our little green elf that visits every year. "Lucky" the Leprechaun has been an annual visitor for several years now and he always leaves a trail of shamrocks leading the kids to a pot of golden candy (usually Rollos). This year, Quinn wanted to catch him, so it just so happened that a magazine I get, "Family Fun", had several ideas for such a trap and we used them to make one of our own out of a Girl Scout cookie box. I think it turned out pretty cute.

We used plastic poker chips to make steps to climb up the side and then a trap door on top with fake gold/silver (I know, you thought it was real) taped to the top so it wouldn't fall in the trap with Lucky. We'll have to wait and see if Lucky out smarts us now!

Family Picture Day

This morning we all dressed in our Easter wear (which took weeks to coordinate because I'm a geek and there wasn't anything out that I liked) and we went to Target for pictures at 10:00 am. I have learned over the years the trick to getting what I want out of pictures is to be the first appointment of the day, so 10:00 am it was. You can also schedule online at Target thus sparing yourself having to talk to someone and make arrangements. I LOVE IT.

So, they know us by name at the portrait studio, which I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I think it's good because they seem to like us.

The first pose was pretty easy, then they put us in a Twister position on the floor with kids and limbs all over the place. That was interesting. Hayden, who's my worst picture taker at the moment, hung in there for those shots. Next was a group shot of the four kids, which we didn't get because Hayden high tailed it to the waiting area and was saying, "no no no no no" and shaking her head at us as we came at her to put her in the shot. So, no group pic of the kids.

Individual shots went well. We did Hayden last. Then I just stuck her on her bottom and said, "take it!" She actually smirked a little, so that's more than I usually get.

Quinn is my ham bone and Lydia too. They will pose and smile till the cows come home. Quinn came up with the last shot we took. She said, "Mom and Dad, you get a picture together." Huh? That never occurred to me to do. The last picture we had together was our wedding pictures almost 9 years ago. So, we snuggled up and took it. I'm sooo glad we did. The kids need those pictures around the house too. I was so grateful Quinn thought of it!

Another year of family picture taking over with and documented. Until next Easter.

Lights Out

Last night Lydia was having trouble going to bed, so I turned the bathroom light on outside her room to see better as I was settling her in again. I didn't turn the light off in the bathroom and left. A short while later, little short stuff in her panda PJs comes sauntering out and says with a sassy shake of her head, "MOM, you forgot to turn the light off." I said, "Can't you do it?". Little Ms. Sassy pants says, "It's not my job. It's your job." SNAP. I said, "Well, I think you can manage it this time." So she did, but she was none too happy about it. I had to laugh seeing her little crumpled bob styled head sway with her valley girl attitude as she walked back into her room. She's three for crying out loud!

The Toes That Refused to Twinkle Tonight

Wednesday evening is Dance class. Lydia, who's 3, and Quinn, who's 7, both take lessons at the same time which works out great logistically speaking because I only have to drag the babies out once a week, instead of twice. I dread it. Every week, I dread it, but I think to myself that I can suck it up for this one hour each week since the girls enjoy it so much, so I do.

Why do I dread it? Let's begin there. Well, it's the babies. The entrance to the studio is a door with three steps leading up to it which make it absolutely impossible to pull a double stroller up and into the building, so I have to roll the twins to the door, take them out one by one and put them inside, then come back out for the stroller, which I then lift into the building. In the meantime, a wave of teenagers are trying to exit the place from their classes and Lydia and Quinn are lost in the throng of people. It's crazy.

Then, once inside, it's better, but the babies are busting into classrooms and running all over the entire hour we're there. I bring toys, treats, drinks, anything to keep them happy. It works...sort of.

Well, tonight, Lydia decided when we got there that she wasn't going to do her class. She just started to cry and stood there, refusing to go into the classroom. I knew better than to force her. So, I didn't push it. I said, if you're not going to dance, then you have to sit against the wall and wait for Quinn's class to be over. She did that, all the while sobbing, "I WANT MY GRANDMA!".

Next, I get out some toys for the babies to play with and Lydia decides she wants to play with them. Being the mean Mom that I am, I told her that she couldn't. I said, if you're not going to dance, then you can't play. I said, if you feel that bad, you should sit quietly. Well, that resulted in more sobbing. The other parents in the waiting area were probably annoyed and discretely eyeing my chaos while, I'm sure, thinking either that I was insane, or that I was the meanest Mom EVER (which I'm told all the time that I am, so it must be true!).

William, who can't sit still to save his soul, was rambling about the room around that time and discovers the water fountain (Great!). He also quickly figured out how to turn it on and stick his arm in the water to get soaking wet. I thought to myself, how much damage is he really doing? None! So, let him get wet! It was keeping him busy and I was holding a sobbing three year old who wants her Grandma, while Hayden was scribbling in a Color Wonder book on the floor. The problem came when the dance kids wanted a drink and he wouldn't move, so then I moved him and then he started crying - it was not pretty. I had two crying, one coloring, and one dancing at that moment. Then, Lydia decides she has to go to the bathroom. Of course she does! What is worse than dragging all three little ones to the restroom? Let me think. Not much!

It's nights like these, or situations like these, that I think back on later and say, "did I handle that alright, or was I a freak!?" While I'm going through it, I try to tell myself, "only a few more minutes and we can leave", or "this is really not in my control, so I need to let it be out of control and do my best to remain calm". Have you ever been somewhere and the kids are acting crazy (like mine were tonight) and the parents are threatening them within an inch of their life or taking away everything except permission to breathe? Yeah, in fact, it happened in the cry room at church on Sunday. When Quinn was little, truthfully, that would have been me too. Now, I try to remember that they are little people with big minds of their own and when they decide to dig in their heels (especially when they're three!), you may have to give them the reins that they so badly want to control for a little bit. Then you help them to understand the outcome may not be what they were hoping for when you send them to bed early and refuse to let them play and goof off during dance class.

SCORE, Mom.

Houdini I & II

I am sure I'll have more "Houdini" stories, so I numbered this one, Numero Uno and Dos. It all began Friday when I let the twins out on the back deck to play (big mistake). They tasted the fresh air and were hooked. It was like they were crack addicts on Spring. Now they know that the back door is not an electrically charged force field they cannot penetrate, instead, it's a flimsy screen door that slides (easily) and on the other side of it, Nirvana! So. We went out to play and they keep trying to go out ever since, constantly messing with the doors.

Saturday, we went out to play via the basement door thinking it was safer than going down the deck stairs. When we came in, much, much, later, I had two very unhappy 20 month olds on my hands. Being the problem solver that he is, William, remembered the door to the basement was open, so he stealthily scooted down the steps on his rear (I imagine) and managed to open the sliding door in the basement to get....oh yeah, a BALL, which was out on the patio underneath the deck. The only flaw to his plan was the fact that the hanging swing under the deck was over the ball. When he moved the swing and bent down to get the ball- BAM, it smacked him in the forehead and he was crying, thus alerting the adults in the residence that he had escaped.

That feat was only to be followed by this yesterday morning's escape....I was doing the dishes in the kitchen before church, when I look out and see a little blond head running under the window on the deck - William had escaped, again. What for, you ask? You guessed it - a Ball! He was happily doing a jig out there until I sashayed him inside again. We are definitely getting a gate to that deck - pronto! I can't afford to loose someone tumbling down the steps this summer.

It's Not My Fault

I feel like I live in one of those Family Circle comic strips where the kids are always saying, "Nobody, did it" and "I dunno, did it" and "It wasn't me, did it". Quinn took an ink pen to the back of the seat in front of her in the van last night while I was driving to church for the Poverty Meal. She nonchalantly says, "Mom, when we get home, can I have a rag?" I asked her "Why?" and she said, "Well, I wrote on the seat with a pen when I was trying to get it to write." WHAT! Of course, I semi-explode while trying to control the vehicle and not endanger the other three passengers. WHY? She said, "It's not my fault!" Okay, Okay! So, who's fault is it? She says, "I don't know, but it's not mine."

So...when we got home, I made her try to clean it off, to no avail. I told her that taking responsibility for your actions is a big girl thing to do and when she doesn't own up to her actions, it's...it's just not good! She continued with the "It's just not my fault" line.

What she really meant was, it's just not my fault that the dumb pen, which wasn't working, decided to work, in the middle of me scribbling on the back of the seat and my arm rest and once it started to work, I thought I could just wipe it off, and when I couldn't, I realized my butt was in BIG trouble and I decided to plead the "It's not my fault!" defense. She better go to law school, because that line of reasoning is not going to win many cases.

I can see her now, "Your Honor, people of the jury, you have to release my client for murder in the first, it just wasn't their fault!"

I'm getting the "MOM, come on!" line now from Lydia, so better GO!

One Fish Fry And A Scale

I really don't get the human body. I mean, the scale tells me I have lost 5 pounds (over a 10 day period) and then I splurge a little (within my limits/points) and enjoy the church Fish Fry and BOOM - out of the water, I'm up two and a half pounds by morning. What the Flippin' hey!? I know, I know - it's water weight, it will go back down - blah, blah, blah! It's retarded. I also want to know WHY, now that I am trying to diet and behave myself, that I all of a sudden am so unhappy with my body? I mean, before I started this thing, I felt like I was okay and even though I really hated clothes shopping because nothing fit, and I really didn't own that many outfits anymore (because nothing fit), I was okay with it. NOW, I all of sudden have those rose colored glasses taken away and I think, HOW did I get this way? How did I not see it? The truth really sucks sometimes even if it is for the best.

It's love.

The twins were trying to hug each other and kiss one another in the kitchen and it looks like they're wrestling. The one where Hayden is on Will's lap looking up at him makes me laugh. I think I'll save these pictures to show them when they're teenagers that they reallly do love each other - just look at when you were 19 months old! True Love!

Bootie Bag

I finally finished this crazy purse. I don't even know if I like it, actually, now that it's done. I saw one online and loved it. They used a beaded handle, but I didn't want to invest a lot of money, so I used the fabric I had on hand to make handles. My sewing machine did not like me after trying to go through all this material at the belt line.