Mocha & Me

I stupidly watched the movie Marley & Me today....geez, am I a glutton for punishment, or what? It hit sooo very close to home. My old black beauty of a canine was not the unruly terror that Marley was, but she was my first baby, my first love. She still is.

That day, the one every pet owner dreads, is so swiftly approaching our family and for me, it breaks my heart. In the movie, John Grogan, asks Marley to give him a sign when it's time so he doesn't have to make that awful decision by himself - but Marley didn't. How could he? He got sick.

Animals are man's best friend, because unlike people, they love you unconditionally with all your flaws. They befriend us, trust us, and love us. Letting go of that kind of bond will leave a hole in your life.

Tonight, I watched my friend struggle to get up because of arthritis in her hips and later try to scratch her ear with a paw that just didn't want to quite work for her. I got up to fill her bowl and let her out and what does she do? Wag her tail in anticipation of my attention as if no pain or discomfort existed.

You know, she was the one who comforted me when my heart was broke for the first time. She's the one I cried to when relatives passed and she was my first bedmate. She was my companion for 2 am feedings and bouts of illlness. She's in my wedding album the day I got married with a tulle bow tied regally around her neck. I actually made the photographer come to my home and take her picture with me and I'm so glad I did. She was beside me when I brought four kids into this world and she has always guarded them as her own, unselfishly.

The whole time I was watching that darned movie, I thought, I should turn this off. It's not going to end well. I mean, I had to quit reading the book because I knew it wasn't going to end well. It was like watching a train wreck.

I am hoping my train wreck is still a ways off, but everyday, I notice something new, something a little more pronounced in Mocha's gait or her behavior. Signals. But, then, she'll come to me, act like old times and I'll go on. We all do, putting that train wreck out of our minds another day. How did fourteen and a half years slip by so fast? The day I brought her home, my Mom and little brother had to actually pick her up from the APA because I had a job interview at Washington University (which I didn't get) and they picked me up with her in the car. My bundle of black fuzz who stole my heart in the kennel the minute she knawed on my overall buckles and laid on her back while I stroked her and fell asleep.

Damn movie.

Day 7 - post surgery

Getting around a little better. Bruising getting better and getting annoyed that I can't lift anything, but I'm behaving myself and managing. The twins and I have become imaginative in how to get them up and down from things. They also know that I can't chase them or make them go to time out - which means all manner of discipline has gone in the toilet. Such is life right now.

Day 3 - post surgery

Today, I'm definitely sore and the bruises are something to behold on my backside. I am feeling a little more comfortable, though, and the incision is itchy, so I'm hoping that means, it's healing.

I tapered off my pain meds a little today because every time I took one, an hour later, I'd be sleeping for three hours. I get tired quickly still and I know surgery takes it out of ya - I hate that about it. I'm trying to walk around and stay up a little more because I need to keep moving and building up strength.

I still napped today for two or more hours and will probably be in bed in 10 minutes. The annoying things are I can't bend over, I can't reach, I can't pick up anything. I can barely get dressed and I gained 6 pounds in a day from water retention (that part really blows!).

Carl is doing an amazing job of trying to keep up and even though it's an uphill battle around here, he's doing great! The kids are trying to pitch in - but they forget too. Thank goodness for awesome neighbors who've been helping with dinners and our parents who've been helping with everything under the sun too - I am gonna have a lot to repay when this is all said and done! I am so grateful! Thank you!

Surgery Day

Thursday morning my Dad picked me up in the rain at 6:15 am to go to the outpatient surgery center in Chesterfield. I was not looking forward to my day ahead, but I had little choice in the matter - I had to just get it done.

We got there, checked in, and the nurses took me back to "get ready". First things first - they hand me a very stylish pair of support stockings for my legs to put on under my hospital gown to prevent blood clots. I wasn't sure for a minute if I was going to be able to get them on because it required bending over, but somehow, I did it. Then came the I.V. insertion - which doesn't phase me really and the nurse was an exceptional stick. Kudos to her for that one!

My Dad was then called in to join me while I waited and he had fun watching my blood pressure and heart rate accelerate and slow down as I got more nervous. Apparently, I talk a lot when I get nervous, but it was that or throw up, so talking it was. The anesthesiologist came in and talked to us, the pharmacy dropped off the drugs for after the surgery/pain meds, and the surgeon came in to talk to me.

Finally, around 8:45 am, Carl got there after getting the kids ready and Quinn off to school. He gave me a kiss and I was on my way to surgery. They had just administered a wonderful kiddy cocktail of all kinds of feel good drugs and I was pretty relaxed.

They took me into surgery, I was in the hospital bed, someone was talking to me about the oxygen mask he was going to use and the doctor was talking about his son's make up soccer game that evening when the next thing I know I'm waking up in recovery two hours later.

My throat hurt from the intubation and my back was definitely uncomfortable, although dulled by a slew of medication that they injected just before closing me up. I took my time waking up and actually took a nap for a while. Then I had to drink something, eat something, sit up a while, and use the restroom before I could go home. We left around 2:40 pm and were home around 3:00 pm.