Homecoming Night

Dad is still at the hospital (it's 8:58pm). He would say they "dilly dicked" around with him all day. They did a pulmonary test and then a cardiac dye test this afternoon. Finally, they got his numbers back and decided his hemoglobin and hemocrit were a little low, so why not transfuse him before he leaves. That takes 4 hours once the blood comes up. I am for the transfusion - means he'll be good for several days.

It's been a grueling, emotional, up and down kind of day and I, for one, will be relieved when he's home in his bed tonight snuggled up with his cat. I think he needs his R&R from the hospital and a reminder that his life is not leukemia. It's not the hospital. This disease is so all consuming that you forget there is a world outside those sterile and poorly painted walls.

He will still meet with his doctor on Friday as an outpatient and they plan to discuss his options for a bone marrow transplant. He also has some information on a research study they are doing with some medication that acts as an inhibitor to the leukemia coming back. He has to weigh all the information he has and determine what his best course of treatment will be in conjunction with his physicians.

For tomorrow, though, we're all taking a break - so no new post. This will be the final post for this round. If and when my Dad ever goes back in the hospital for another extended stay, we'll start back at Day 1. For tomorrow and Friday, they are just days now, not numbers. Thank you GOD.

I will be attending Holy week masses and praying for all of you who have so diligently prayed for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your support is humbling. Love ya.

Day 53- Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Dad is coming home today! Yeah! He's still feeling a little unsteady and that worries him, but I think he'll be better once he gets home and can relax, snuggle his cat, and be AT HOME. He has his first outpatient appointment on Friday.

More later.

Day 52 - No Going Home Today either

Talked to Dad this morning. He sounds really tired. He said he could hardly stand and felt like he would pass out. They had him up several times last night to stand and take his blood pressure. Everytime, he said, he felt like he could barely stay up. They still haven't given us any idea of why this is happening. Dad is worried that something else is wrong. It's very frustrating.

He sounded really down that he wouldn't be going home today either. I can't believe this is happening. He was doing so well two days ago.

The only other news we have is that they found a 10-10 donor match for him and at his first outpatient appointment on Friday (if we get released), they will discuss this process further (the bone marrow transplant process). This is great news!

More later. Keep praying! : )

Day 52- There's no place like home

Well, not today. For some reason Dad's blood pressure went way low today and they are concerned enough to keep him another night. They don't know why. They have adjusted his heart medications to see if that helps. They think he might be dehydrated, but he is drinking like crazy. Hopefully they figure this out soon.

Day 51 - Palm Sunday

I don't really have much to report today. I spent the afternoon with family and enjoyed just being with them. We missed having my Dad there, of course, but we all knew that he would be coming home tomorrow probably, so we had a good time.

Tentatively the plan is for Dad to come home tomorrow and proceed with treatment on an outpatient basis. What that means, we have yet to find out? I know we have heard different things all throughout this process about what outpatient entails, but until they lay it on the line for us, we won't know for sure.

The only other bit of news is that my brother, Sterling, has decided to come home. I think he'll be home around April 9th or so. I know this was a hard decision for him to make, but I don't think he'll regret making it. I know it will do us all good to have him around again, especially my Dad.

I have my concerns, but I know we'll all get through it and prayers will help - keep them coming people - we are humbled by your devotion to my Dad's continued health and your love. Thank you.

Day 50

Last night the blogger was down so I didn't get to report that my Dad had been given a couple "booster" shots on Thursday night and Friday to help his blood counts. The numbers after that were astonishing. His WBC went up to 2.8 and his ANC's to 1820! Since then they have come down a little bit and they are going to give him another booster tonight, but not as much of one as before.

They want him to sustain these numbers a couple days and have told him he'll probably be going home on Monday!

He's completely off all his IV's, he's up and "exercising" by walking the halls and he's really trying to consume more calories. He's doing awesome.

We're so excited that Dad will be coming home soon. We're still taking it one day at a time, but for now, we're celebrating.

Day 48 - BIOPSY RESULTS - IT'S GOOD

FINALLY, some good news. My Dad's biopsy from Tuesday came back clean. There were no leukemia blasts! That doesn't mean he's "cured", but it's a step in the right direction. They can now administer booster shots to "boost" his blood cell counts and they expect he'll be going home mid-week next week - just in time for the Tridium and Easter. Thank you God. Thank you friends and family for all your vigilant prayers. They are working, keep them up! Keep them going.

We love you and thank you.

Day 47 - Pancakes and Sausage

Dad is doing so much better with his food intake. He put down a pancake and a little sausage this morning, plus most of a creme roll. They have taken down his nutritional supplement on his IV. In fact this morning they disconnected him completely from his IV pole for a couple hours. He has something coming via IV this afternoon, so they'd have to hook him back up for a while.

He looks great, really!

His numbers went up some overnight. His white blood cells are at .7, up from .6 and his ANCs are at 490, up from the 200s. He just discontinued taking the steroid that helped boost some of his numbers (see yesterday's blog).

Kylie came up to visit with Sherry before I left and that did my Dad's heart a lot of good. Seeing the kids is medicine in itself. He misses them. She is so cute!

We are starting to contemplate his coming home, cautiously. It's hard to plan without the biopsy results and his numbers a little higher. That being said, Dad is thinking about how to keep the air in the house a little cleaner and Mom is prepping for his needs in the shower and restroom.

It's been several days since Dad needed blood products and platelets which is encouraging too. Everyting points to good things, so keep praying, keep the positive thoughts coming and most of all thank you for being here for us.

Day 46 - Three good omens - this is long, sorry.

I am usually not a superstitious person, but lately, I'll take whatever "signs" that come my way and are good and run with them.

Today I went to the hospital with dread and admittedly was upset in the garage before going in the building. I walked through the hall and near the pharmacy looked over and saw a friend of mine. She had a fall over a year ago and is now confined to a wheel chair. Her husband and she had just been to her surgeon and received very positive feedback. The reason she was my first good omen, though, was because throughout her entire ordeal, she maintained a positive attitude and was always so upbeat - and she was so with me today.

I kept walking down the next hallway and a couple rounds the corner. I looked at the woman and realized that I knew her too! When we got closer, I asked her if she went to McCluer North High School and she said, "Yes, I knew I recognized you!". I asked what she was doing there and she said her Mom has AML and is on the 6th floor. I told her my Dad has AML and is on the 5th floor. Her Mom was diagnosed two years ago and just had a bone marrow transplant recently. We exchanged emails. My spirits were lifting - two years ago! That is like water to a man in a dessert - a Godsend.

Thirdly, I was visiting with Dad (who, by the way, looks great!) and his doctor for this week came in, Dr. Aboud. I have to say, my first impression of him earlier last week was not so grand. Today, however, he made my day. He gave Dad a lot of positive feedback and said, your numbers are not the entire picture. He also explained that although his numbers have dipped, four days ago he was on a steroid. Steroids boost White cell longevity. The day his white cell counts jumped so dramatically was the day he was given this steroid. The cells don't die off as rapidly while they're being asked to fight a possible infection. The next day after the steroid, we started to see a decline. So it went like this.

Five days ago - Dad's ANC number was in the 200s
Four days ago - ANC jumped to 700 (steroid administered)
Three days ago- ANC started to decline in the 500-600s
Two days ago - ANC hits 300s
yesterday - ANC in the 200s again.

If you consider the steroid use, Dad hasn't really lost any ground. He's held steady from prior to the steroid five days ago.

The doctor told him depending on this biopsy, there is still a possibility that he'll be home by the weekend. He was my hero with all this news. Dad asked what he thought we would see from the biopsy and of course he said, "hopefully no leukemia". He also asked how Dad was feeling and if his sense of smell was coming back. Dad said that it was and the doctor said, you are obviously healing. Your body is recovering from the chemo as smell and taste are starting to return. That seems like a very positive sign to me. He also said that from when he met Dad a week ago, he is a completely different man today - healthy looking.

So, then the biopsy. I had to leave at 3:30 and they were just getting underway. They were done by 3:45 - record timing from his past two. It went very well with very little discomfort Mom said. Amen to that, sista.

We have to wait three days for the biopsy results. I feel like I'm living some kind of psuedo life of Jesus. Three visitors or signs today, Jesus met three people on the way to the cross. Three days wait for results, three days wait for the resurrection. Let's hope that is what we have happen later this week - resurrection, revival, rebirth. God bless us.

Thank you for hanging on with us.

Day 46 - Biopsy Today

Dad called Mom this morning and told her they are going to do the bone marrow biopsy this afternoon. Good. Let's get his monster out of the way so we can move on to the next step of treatment. More later.....

Day 45 - part 2

This evening we learned my Dad's white cells dropped again and his ANC's did too. They are now in the 200s. They should be increasing, not decreasing. The doctors were concerned earlier today and moved up his biopsy to Wednesday (we think). All of this has pretty much sucker punched our family. Dad has particularly taken this hard - and why wouldn't he? I can't imagine.

They had been telling him how well he was doing and he might be going home soon and now, there's no way he's leaving with these numbers going down. That has to take the wind out of your sails when all week he's been begging to get released and find a way to go home for a while. He's worn out, tired, devastated - you name it, he's been there or is going through it.

We are hoping for any shred of good news tomorrow. Pray for us.

Day 46 - One Grumpy Grandpa

I walked into Dad's room this morning at 9:30 and could tell he was already out of sorts. I filled up his water and he started in on how awful his night was. The woke him up at 2:00 am for platelets and they constantly come in an check his vitals. Personally, all this complaining was a good sign for me because it means he's really starting to feel better.

The doctor came in a little later and made the mistake of saying that Dad was on his way home, which Dad latched on to and like a dog with a bone and was like, "when!?". Anyways, he's not going anywhere until his numbers come up better and he's eating more consistently. He also has to get off the nutritional supplement they're giving him via IV.

This afternoon, I talked to Mom and she said one of their main doctors came in and saw Dad. He wants to do a bone marrow biopsy sooner than later. He's really happy with how Dad looks and that his red cells have been holding steady. He's more concerned that his ANC's (those darned neutrophils) are dipping. He had hit the 600s and is now back down in the 300s. That's definitely worrisome.

Day 45 - A Spark of Pep

Dad has a little more pep in him today. He is really trying to eat even if it's not going that well. He managed to walk the entire hallway and bicycle for 10 minutes in the workout room - it was not at marathon pace, but he as moving the entire time.

His numbers are staying kind of steady from yesterday, which is good. His ANCS are down a little in the 500s from where they were in the 600s. That's okay, they are going to go up and down for a while.

He is taking most of his medication orally again, so he only has his nutritional supplement and an antibiotic hanging on his IV stand.

He moved rooms yesterday and the new room has better seating, so he can comfortably sit up some during the day and watch basketball! Bummer about Mizzou.

Mom was going to try and get him to take one more walk this evening before she left and get him to order some dinner.

More tomorrow.

NEW ROOM NUMBER

Dad was moved today to room 5927.

His phone number is 314-747-5927.

Day 44

Dad is moving very slowly today. He said he just doesn't have any energy. He is really trying to eat, but it's not going that well. Just taking his medication takes it out of him. Sitting up about makes him fall asleep. They have taken away his pain pump completely because he wasn't using it. They are also going to discontinue his sleeping pill tonight and see if that perks him up any tomorrow.

There is a rumor going around that he may get to come home next week. His blood count numbers are going up really well, but he has to be eating better and moving around better.

Right now, for me, I'm marking his coming home as another milestone. Then the next milestone is getting through the next bone marrow biopsy. Once that huge hurdle is behind us, then we know what is next. The mounting anxiety I'm starting to feel is only held at bay by trying to reign in my brain from thinking too far ahead of itself. One day at a time, one hurdle at a time. I feel like all the tumblers will begin to fall into place and I have absolutely no control over how they will play out - that is very frustrating.

We again are thankful for all your prayers, please keep them coming - up them, if you can. Thank you for all your support and love.

Day 43

Mom said Dad was complaining some today, so he must be getting back to normal (kiddingly). Dad had some visitors today, which was great! Thank you to them!

The news for the day is Dad's WBC count is at 1.3, down from 1.6 (which is fine) and his ANC (neutrophil) count was in the 600s, up from the 300s. Remember these numbers will fluctuate. His red blood cells and platelets are holding steady, so no blood or platelet transfused tonight (which is great!).

He is really trying to eat and get something in him because he admits he's very weak. They took a very short walk today and hope to try again tomorrow.

That's it for today, nothing much new. We're all just grateful to be through the weird episodes he was having.

God bless!

Day 43 - Back from the land of Nod

Went to see my Dad this afternoon after the trip to the zoo from hell - well it wasn't that bad, but the traffic was unbelievable. The kids were fine, but it was crazy crowded.

Anyways, back to Dad. He mind has definitely begun to clear. He was very lucid and speaking a lot more clearly. My Mom even said, "It's amazing how much better he is". He even slept through getting blood last night which is unlike him. I think his body was just so worn out that he had to recharge, hence the sleep overload the past few days.

Now that the swelling and bloating has gone, you can really see how much he's slimmed down. This disease is brutal, it just eats at you from the inside out.

Nothing much new to report, except we're all relieved that Dad is coming back from the Land of Nod and into the Land of the Living again.

Keep your brackets close at hand and good luck with March Madness!

Day 42 - Happy St. Patrick's Day

Well, my Dad seems to be coming out of the "fog" a little more today. He had a very restless night and was agitated, but then he slept all day long. By the time I visited, it was between 3:30 and 4:00pm, he was resting easy and still. Mom said as the day went on he was talking less in his sleep and was less agitated too.

Mom ordered him a baked potato around 5:00 and he actually ate about 3 bites. It still hurts to swallow, but he said his mouth is feeling a little better. His hands have almost entirely sloughed off and are looking much better. Mom left around 6:00 and I stayed until 8:30, just for her peace of mind and mine, too. By the time I left, Dad was talking even more lucidly.

He asked about my kids and he asked what day it was. He even remarked that he missed a whole day yesterday (being so out of it) and I said, "well, you didn't need that one anyways!".

Number wise - his white blood cells were at .7 today. His ANC level was 266. He will be getting blood tonight, but not platelets. His liver function is improving (he was a little jaundiced) and his kidneys are doing fine. His white cells and ANCs dipped a little from two days ago and that's not uncommon. They will rise and fall slightly for a while. We just want to see them there at all.

Thank you for your St. Pat's prayers and blessings to you and yours!

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Night 41

My Mom stayed the night last night for the first time. Dad was afraid of another bad night like the one he had Monday night. Apparently, he finally fell asleep around 2:30 am. He was just up and down like a jack in the box, my Mom said. They gave him something to relax him at 10:00, but it didn't take him down until 2:30am! Crazy.

I can't imagine knowing that your mind is messed up and living it. It must be how alzheimer's patients feel. It's disturbing.

The doctor saw my Mom this morning already and said he really expects this "cloud" that my Dad's in to lift any time. Dad hardly used his pain medication last night, so hopefully, his mouth is feeling better, or he just forgot - who knows. With the medication working it's way out of his body, we should start to see the Dad we all know and love resurface soon. Keep your fingers crossed!

Day 41- WE HAVE ANC ACTION

First of all, the good news. Dad's blood results yesterday were showing improvement. He finally has some neutrophils (ANC). They are at 500. Normal is over 1000. The other good thing was he finally hit a whole number on his white cell count (1.0). All of that is good.

Mom was called up to the hospital earlier this morning (8:00am) because Dad had a rough night and was really agitated. He even told me "I'm crazy". He was very confused and didn't know why he was there. He even got himself up last night and was wandering the halls upset. That whole episode really had Mom upset too. Apparently, his nurse, Pam, was very compassionate and took good care of him, though, because by the time I got there, he was feeling better and he went and thanked her at the nurses station. The end result of this episode was they stopped the pain meds that they were doing through the IV - they were continual. They're hoping that backing off that and letting him just use the dispenser that he pushes a button for to control pain, will bring his brain back. He had a headache when I left, so I am thinking it's a little withdrawal from the meds not going in him.

Dad said "I just want to go home. I miss my kitty." and Mom had him restate what has to happen for that to materialize. He knew what he had to do. He tried to eat some scrambled eggs, but he just couldn't swallow them, so he spit them out. "A" for effort!

Mom sat and talked with me for a few minutes in the lobby and whereas I had been thinking he would go to a "consolidation" phase after this (providing he gets to remission), she said they will be doing an actual bone marrow transplant down the road. So potentially, well get Dad home in 2-3 weeks, he'll stay there a few weeks, then have another biopsy done, after which, depending on the results, we'll be starting to consider the transplant. It was a lot to absorb today.

I know my Mom is getting worn out. She said, "Starting out with this, I had no idea what we were getting into."

Day 40-Part B

My Mom said Dr. Westerfeld (spelling?) came and talked to them today and kind of outlined a possible plan of action from here. He said that Dad won't be going home for at least 2-3 more weeks. His blood count numbers have to really rebound and particularly his neutraphil numbers (has to be at least 500, it's at 0 now). He also has to be eating and moving at a more normal pace.

Once all of these factors come into play, he should be able to go home for a couple weeks. Then Dad will return as an outpatient for a bone marrow biopsy (so potentially 5 weeks from now). That biopsy will be the definitive response to his chemo and tell us if Dad is really in remission. If he makes it to remission, they won't probably go after him again in a consolidation phase for a little while. Consolidation is continuing a chemo treatment of sorts on a less intense level.

In the meantime, they have been doing a bone marrow search for him, lining up potential donors just in case. This is something they could consider down the road if Dad gets to remission.

So now, we put all of that aside and concentrate on getting through the next 2-3 weeks, getting Dad home, and continuing to pray. If all goes well, he could be home by Easter (my guess, not their's).

Day 40

If you had asked me if I would be writing a "Day 40", 5 weeks ago, I would have said, "no", but here we are.

I actually took Quinn and Hayden up to see Dad today. Figured 5 weeks without Grandkids makes One Weak - well, that's not actually the saying, but we'll improvise. They were the healthiest of the bunch, so they got to go.

When we got there around 10:00 am, Ethan was about to take Dad for a little walk around the hall. Dad wasn't too enthused, but he did it. The kids have to stay in the hospital room, so we just hung out with Mom while they went. Mom says Dad does more for us than for her right now, so she was happy to let Ethan take the lead.

While we were there, Dad tried to take his last pill for the morning, and he just couldn't get it down - in fact he lost it, only to find it later in his mouth already. Then he choked it out and couldn't swallow it. It's beyond miserable.

The nurse came in to switch out some antibiotics on his IV pole and he asked her to look under the bed for somebody, so she did. She reported that no one was there, maybe a leprechaun, and he said, "oh no!", kiddingly. He's still pretty in and out.

Thinking on these past 40 days especially during Lent, I draw some comfort from the similarity of Jesus in the dessert for 40 days and nights being tempted and then coming out renewed, stronger, revived. I feel like my Dad has been in the same dessert and I'm praying he'll come through the other side renewed. It really is only our faith that gets us through these times in our life and I'm hoping that by Easter, our family is resurrected whole and healthier too.

Thank you for your prayers! Thank you to the visitors of late - it means the world to us that you come.

Day 39

Nothing much new to report today. Ethan went up to visit this afternoon. I think most of my Dad's meds have been transferred to the IV form so he doesn't have to swallow them. I talked to him a little around noon - I couldn't understand him very well but that is somewhat his throat bothering him and somewhat the medication impairing him.

The doctor assured my Mom that these mental side effects would subside (probably next week sometime). He said that the combination of the pain meds building up in his system and the chemo doing it's thing on top of him being rather malnourished over the past month can lead to patients becoming confused and disoriented. He said that once this nutrient infusion they started kicks in and his white cells start to replenish themselves we should see improvement in his condition.

Sherry hit it on the head when I was talking to her today - she said it's like his body is using so much energy just fighting the leukemia and trying to heal that his brain just doesn't have enough to function.

Thanks for checking in on us! Please keep praying. This week will be continually stressful as we near the next bone marrow biopsy which should be a week from tomorrow. That test will determine if we actually are at remission or not. Please pray that we are.

Day 38

Finally managed to escape today to spend some time at the hospital. Apparently, yesterday was an interesting day for my Mom. My Dad's hands were absolutely a mess and they ended up wrapping them with gauze and beginning to use some ointment they use for burn victims. They look like they are charred - that's how awful they are. I am just glad that his feet weren't affected by this too - or he couldn't even walk.

Aside from the hands and his throat is still terrible, he's experiencing what we'll call "chemo brain". He is really in and out of reality right now and does things like ask me who's behind him and what's behind the mirror in his room. He stuck the little push button that controls his pain meds in his ear and said it wasn' t working so he was relieving the pressure. It is so "NOT MY DAD" that I just play along.

One minute he's lucid and the next he's talking about nonsense. This will get better, soon, I hope.

The good news - if there is any- is that his white blood cells went from .2 to .4 and that's a step in the right direction. We want them to go all the way up to 10. Let's hope those neutrophils we were looking for a long time ago start showing up too - they'll help with all the side effects. The only other new thing is they are starting an IV drip of nutrition. He isn't eating, hasn't eaten for 5 weeks really, so they're supplementing with this drip. Why they waited this long to start it, I'll never know - it seems like a no brainer to me.

Day 36

Well, today was a challenging day for my Mom. My Dad is experiencing a lot of side effects from the chemo right now and some of those include being a little disoriented and a confused. At one point he thought he saw Sterl in the chair in his room (Sterl is in Florida).

That aside, he is developing some bed sores which they are trying to control. His hands are really tore up and he refuses to put on the lotion they prescribed because he's convinced that it is the reason they are pealing.

I told my Mom that unfortunately she is the only one my Dad can really take out his frustration on because she's there and today was one of those days. He didn't yell at her or anything, but he was kind of beligerent at times. I told her that she is his punching bag and in his situation, he needs one. He, of course, has no intention of hurting her or even being mean to her because right now, he doesn't really have any control over the "tricks" his mind is playing on him. She admitted that she understood that, but it doesn't make it any easier.

She's equally frustrated with the lack of attention from the attending physicians and the revolving door of nurses makes it hard to have a relationship with any of them. This experience is very eye opening for all of us because it is so very true that patients need advocates and family being present in the hospital during these situations is vital to a patient's level of care.

Please keep the prayers coming. I have a feeling this roller coaster is about to go on a wild ride and the dips and hills aren't going to be easy on us, so all the positive energy we can receive will give us the fortitude to keep on keeping on. Thanks!

Day 35 - Disney On Ice

Well, today my plans to visit were foiled by three little ones with nasty colds who didn't go to preschool (which is my babysitter on Mon and Wed while I visit). That being said, I called Dad and he's doing the same as yesterday. They had just taken a walk when I called and were trying to track down a nurse to get some numbers from blood work yesterday.

Tonight, we're heading out to Disney on Ice with Ethan's crew and the older girls are looking really forward to getting their princess fix for the year. The twins are staying home this year with Grandma Vonder Haar. I just didn't think Disney was ready for William. He's a handful. Next year, he'll be more up for it.

I know Sherry went up to visit today and that was great! I'll be seeing her at Disney tonight and get anymore updates then. : )

Day 34

Dad is still dealing with his hands and they are really splitting. He's actually oozing (not to be gross, but it's true). His throat is raw again, so eating is not really an option. He has enough trouble just getting his medication down. They are actually switching some back to I.V. form so he doesn't have to swallow it, but there are always a few stinkers that will have to be choked down, literally.

He's still on lasics (diuretics), but he looked less "puffy" today. He got up for a little walk while I was there and sat on the side of his bed for a bit. He got a new mattress that is supposed to help alleviate bed sores since he's starting to get some tender spots and a new "tushy cushion" for when he sits in a chair.

I am hoping to be able to bring the kiddos up for a very brief visit on Friday, but it will depend on how they are doing (getting over their colds) and how Dad is doing. They are chomping at the bit to see him. It's been 6 weeks and we usually don't go more than 7-10 days without seeing him and Mom. We'll see....

Hour to Hour

It seems like this illness is an hour to hour thing. My Dad was pretty slow moving this morning, but this afternoon managed to sit in a chair for a couple hours. He sounded better when I talked to him a few minutes ago than this morning too.

The doctor had come in and they are continuing to give him more lasics (diuretics) to get some of the fluid off of him.

Anyways, nothing really to report, just that one person can visit and get one experience and another can visit later and have another. Things change that fast some days. It's bizarre.

Day 33 - The Long Haul

If you haven't given up on this blog by now, you're in it for the long haul like us. I know how it is to follow somebody through their illness and it takes some fortitude to keep reading up on them sometimes. We appreciate that you are still behind us and sending up your prayers.

Went to visit Dad today. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling up to snuff and figured, why risk it? He is definitely heading back into the harder part of chemo treatment. If you remember about a week after his first series of chemo, his hands started swelling and blistering and his tongue and throat too. It was absolutely miserable. Well, he's starting to have some of those symptoms again.

His feet and hands are swollen and red (not as red as before), but they are blistering and peeling already. His mouth is starting to react again and develop the herpes sores. He's sleeping a lot and pretty lethargic right now.

The fact that he had to repeat chemo was enough of a bludgeon, but now that he's reacting the same again, it's really dragging him down a little. Once we got through the first time, we were so hoping not to have the same symptoms crop up again.

We are again waiting for his neutrophils to show up (those are the white blood cells that fight infection etc). It could be another 8-10 days, though, at least.

In the meantime, thanks for checking in and sticking it out with us.

Day 31- Mizzou falls to KU, booooo!

Nothing earth shattering to report today. Mizzou lost to KU, which was a bummer. I watched some of it with Dad.

Dad was unhooked from some more of his leads and they reduced some of his medication. He's still on the antibiotics and lasics (diuretics), but came off the oxygen, which is good.

We took a little walk. He gets tired easily, still.

He is very focused on getting home and they have told him if his numbers rebound in about 11 days (which is typical), they will see if he's eating, moving around well, and holding his own and determine if he can bust out of there.

He will then come back for the bone marrow biopsy the following week or so.

Right now, we're still pushing food of any kind in his direction and just trying to moderate the boredom.

Mom has a cold and took a well earned "sick day" today, much to her dismay. Hopefully she'll kick this cold she's got and be back on board tomorrow (who am I kidding? She'll be there with gusto in the morning ordering corn flakes for Dad to choke down). Go Mom!

This holding pattern is wearing on the nerves as much as it is a lull in the action. Playing the waiting game for results is about keeping a positive attitude, redirecting your thoughts away from all the "what ifs" you're dwelling on, and focusing on the here and now. For here and for now, I'm just happy to visit with Dad as much as I can and take it one day at a time.

Thanks for the prayers and blessings to you and yours!

Day 30 - Good Day

Dad had a really good day today. He got unhooked from the heart monitor so he could really take a nap and rest. He slept a good hour and a half and when he woke up he said it felt like he'd slept all night. It felt that good!

He ate half of a sandwich and had a rootbeer float. He took a couple walks today too.

The doctor told him that if his numbers improve enough, he could potentially go home in 14 days or so. Then he would have to come back for his bone marrow biopsy as an outpatient. The neutrophils we were rooting for earlier in this journey are what we are rooting for again. We need those numbers to start increasing.

Dad is pretty focused on getting home, although, he admits, his insurance may preclude that from happening until after the biopsy - we'll see. Insurance companies are so nutso (if you work for one, of course, I don't mean Yours).

All in all, I'll take it. I'll take whatever good days we get along the way and I'll run with it. Here's to another good day tomorrow!

Keep up the prayers - so far, so good! Keep the faith and know that we all appreciate you and your support. Just knowing friends and family are out there gives us all the strength to keep on keepin' on.

Love ya!

Day 29 -

Not much to report today. My Dad is finally getting a little bored. He felt so bad for so long that he didn't even care, but today he said he was bored. He was lobbying for hall priveleges again on the 5th floor and wasn't making much progress when I talked to him at noon. Hopefully, he managed to get his "outback steakhouse" monitor back by this evening (that's the heart monitor that he can move around with, it's not secured to the wall, but on a beeper that looks like the buzzer you have at a restaurant while you wait for a table. He dubbed it the outback steakhouse monitor way back when), but they were still monitoring his heart rate very closely. At noon, his heart was at 72 beats per minute, down from the 144 the other night.

He was considering ordering lunch when I called, so hopefully, he did. His appetite is returning, slowly, so I'm hoping that any side effects this chemo will present won't interrupt that progressive improvement.

Keep the prayers coming and the positive thoughts. We appreciate everyone's support.

Day 28 - Room 5907

Dad finally made it to his room around 11:30 last night - ugh. Apparently, there wasn't a spare room to be had in the entire hospital. They ended up moving 3 other people around just so my Dad could be moved to this floor with better monitoring.

He's doing fine, though! His heart is getting back on track and they are pumping the potassium again (potassium helps heart function - I started taking a supplement after learning that a couple weeks ago! Can't hurt!).

He has one of my favorite nurses back on this week (Sweet Sarah, he calls her). She's awesome and really helped get him all organized this morning, while I was there. Love her!

Not much else to report - I ordered him some breakfast before I left and it hadn't come, so I hope he ate it! He sucked down the root beer I brought in no time flat, so A&W must taste alright! : )

A quick thank you to Quinn's 2nd grade class! They each made Dad Get Well Cards and they were so cute! He really loved them!

Day 27 - A-Fib, again

Just so you know, Dad's heart went A-fib again this evening. If you look back at posts in the beginning, his heart did this then too. Because of this reaction, he has to move back to the more intensive care unit on the 5th floor. I don't have a new room number, but when I do, I'll post it.

From what my Mom said, he is totally "pissed" because he feels fine, but his vitals are all over the place. They tried to get it back to a normal rhythm with an injectable and it didn't work, so he has to go back on the cardiac drip medication and the big heart monitor once he gets to the fifth floor. That means, he'll be tethered again between all the wires and a very unhappy camper.

After the good day he was having, I'm sure this was a huge let down to him, so please send good prayers up tonight for his spirit.

The good thing is he has a lot of fans on the 5th floor in the nursing staff, so he'll be well taken care of and I told Mom, don't let them take his bed from him with that extender! She said, oh, he's already told them that! I guess he unloaded on the poor doctor too, but I'm sure he could handle it!

Day 27 - New Low for WBC's

I know I keep reporting on my Dad's food habits, but it is something we can focus on and try to work with. He did really well today in that area - taking in a shake, some sprite, water, half a burger shot from Burger King and some Jello. He even has plans to bust out an ice cream or popsicle this afternoon!

He took a walk which is great, since it's been a few days.

His chemo is done, he's on fluids still, (and feeling the effects of those, too). He still has the oxygen in his nose and runs an intermittent fever here and there. He looked good, sounded good, and was good today.

One of the many chaplains (Episcopalian) came in before I left and the poor man, he was doing his best to "counsel" or ask how Dad was doing and what was going on - but oh my gosh - he overstayed by like 9 of the 10 minutes he was there. It was very nice, but a little weird. When the nurse came in to do some bloodwork, he just moved around her (that would have been the perfect time to make an exit, but no). People are interesting, aren't they?

The nurse we have right now is a soccer player, blond, tall, and really nice. Her name is Jenny. She's a keeper. I think Dad has her wrapped around his finger, of course, what nurse hasn't he managed to wrap!? He's a charmer.

One final bit - Dad's white blood cells hit a new low yesterday at .1 - he will get two units of blood this afternoon.

Keep up the prayers and good thoughts! Quinn's class made Grandpa a whole mess of Get Well cards so I have that to take up tomorrow! : )

Day 26 - Round 2 - Day 5 of Chemo

Tonight the fifth dose of chemo will run through my Dad. His kidneys are holding their own and his blood work looks pretty similar to a few weeks ago. His white blood cells are down to .2 still and he's getting blood and platlets every couple days to boost his redblood cells. Yesterday evening, he did get blood transfused, but no platelets. The last dose of platelets he got a couple days ago boosted him from a 7 up to a 27 - which is awesome. We want to track that donor down, thank them, and then ask for more!

I brought Dad a Steak N Shake child size shake this morning for breakfast and he did really well with it. He had already sucked down a V-8 before I got there around 9:20am. He is experiencing some eye pain over the right eye. He says it feels like a sinus headache. They are giving tylenol to help with that, but no one has said if that's a side effect or if we should be concerned.

One of the doctors on rotation today stopped in (Dr. Boyer). He just introduced himself and said he was meeting with the rest of the crew at 10:00am and they would come by later with any changes they determined should be made with his case.

After tonight's dose of chemo, we wait. The next three weeks will be long and arduous while we see if any side effects develop from this round and wait for Dad's immune system to rebuild. At the end of that three weeks, he'll have another bone marrow test - that will tell us what happens next. Until then, one day at a time! Welcome to March- I'm hoping it is much better than February!

Keep visiting, keep mailing cards, and email him too - I am bringing up the laptop so he can check emails - My Mom is also checking them at home.